FUCK the WII U gamepad

It is official I don't like the Wii U gamepad one bit. The shape and the button layout is awful. It is the most uncomfortable electronic device I have ever held in my hands. My wrist is sore after playing for only 15 minutes. I now will have the gamepad sitting somewhere I can't see the piece of shit and will use the wii remote instead. If the gamepad can be used with the remote like pikmin 3 i will lay the gamepad on the arm rest of my recliner while I do everything mostly with my remote. I will also have to turn the gamepad screen off every time I turn on my Wii U. The fact that I have to use the gamepad for certain shit like the store or the system options, means that the gamepad has to stick around and can't be thrown out a window.

The fact that I can't turn off the gamepad completely while playing games is bullshit and I think Nintendo will be coming around with a fix for that in an update real soon. So far I'm super let down by this new Nintendo system. I predict that this will be the worst Nintendo system as far as sales and game sales go, all because of the gamepad.

Message to Nintendo:
Make a better gamepad or ditch the fucking thing. Make the games 100% usable with a wii remote. If there is something that can pop up on the gamepad, create the ability to have the same thing pop up on the tv screen if the wii remote is on.

By the way I played Nintendo land and didn't give a fuck about the innovations, very few people will give a shit about these. Holding this huge gamepad up for different bullshit or over using the touchscreen is tedious and boring. I don't like any of the ds zelda games because of the touch screen garbage that you have to use in order to play the games. It is laughable that Nintendo land is 60 dollars retail, what a joke. Lucky for me I didn't pay that to play it. 

Dear Nintendo YOUR Wii U game pad is shaped like shit

I'm listening to soothing music right now because Nintendo is breaking my heart. In my recent purchase of a Wii U, my experience is disturbed by the button placement on the right hand side and the shape of the entire pad. The shit is fucked. I don't think it is a matter of getting use to it. The button layout is bullshit and doesn't work right. My wrist has to move way to much to get to the buttons. The main problem is the a,b,x,y, buttons located below the joystick. I'm having to get back and forth between the trigger, the stick, and the a,b,x,y, using my wrist. It is a broken setup and it pisses me off because it is going to be a problem for every fucking game that will be on this Wii U.

If you want to go along with Nintendo and play their games you have to be on board with whatever they are trying to make money off of. Fuck being innovative if you can't even get the basics right. This poor design is so shitty. I now am preparing myself for a new design that Nintendo will have in the future to fix this pile of shit problem. If I want to play a new more comfortable game pad I will have to buy another one.

After giving it some thought I realized that the feel is similar to how the Sega Dreamcast controller was set up. Sega made a block like controller that had straight up and down sides. This makes you have to turn your wrists in to go to the buttons, or simply to hold the fucking thing. If you look at the PS3 controller the shape goes out so that way you don't have to turn your wrist. It has a more natural feel and plays smooth. I made a drawing to show you how the Wii U pad should be shaped for comfortable play. Notice I turned the d-pad on the left side slanted somewhat to go with how your hand would be positioned. Makes no fucking sense why it has been straight all along. Also under the right joystick there is only one button that the thumb can easily slide down to. The other buttons could be added in other places that the thumb can get to without breaking the wrist. I also think that there can be a button in the joysticks when you push forward with more pressure. Now days they have joysticks/thumbsticks that you can push down, this is different. I mean as you push forward against the stick. This could be used for running. It would be a nice addition yet irrelevant to my main concern in this post.

Below is the backside and look at how I changed the triggers to be slanted some to go with natural straight wrist angle of the hand on the game pad.

This way it is all smooth and the thumbs are the only thing that has to move around (not the fucking wrist). Nintendo has made the same mistake as Sega Dreamcast, that is laughable. Especially since Nintendo was in competition with them at the time. Did they not hold the game pad in their hands for an hour or two to really get an idea of what I'm explaining here. FUCK. This is the way it should be NINTENDO. Sad I have to point this out to a company that has been making controllers close to thirty years. It is safe to bet that Nintendo already knew about this and went around it for size attention. If they were to make the pad like I have drawn out, it would be wider and appear bigger. So this could be a case of looks rather than functionality. Also the bigger it is the more room it takes up in shipping. Still both of these reasons should not take priority over function. One other thing I can't leave out is the shape is familiar to other touch screen pads that people have knowledge of. Only thing is they function different and are not god damn video game controllers!

This is how a controller should be shaped for anyone that is not clear on the matter

Now put a screen in the middle of it

      Now take a look at the wrist turned in while this fella is playing his Wii U game pad. 

Now what will this guy have to do if he wants to push the buttons bellow the joystick on the right side of the game pad? You got it right, he will have to turn his wrist out. Damn you are smart. If you dig what I'm writing here make a beef in forums and anywhere that Nintendo can get a whiff. 

                                  Examine the wrist going in while holding a Dreamcast controller.

I must give attention to the new Steam system controller. This controller is setup to work the thumbs well. In my opinion it is super genius and I will want to get my hands on it. I like how they position the buttons on the side of the two thumb pads. Check it out bellow. Take a look how the handles bulb out to fill the space in your hands so you have to grip it less. It looks so snug. So beautiful. Who ever is on the team that came up with this brilliant game pad should be given the nobel prize. 

*UPDATE* 10/12/13

I thought about how Nintendo could simply make a cover or a slip in that would have the sides that extend out and fit in the hands. This seems like a reasonable thing they could do. So far I have found one product that is similar to what I'm describing. Still this product doesn't do shit because it doesn't come out on the sides for the wrist support. Take a look at the pic below. 

Having the hand grip below the system does jack shit for thumb stick and button use. Change the shape and this thing could be just what I'm looking for. Simply take the grips off the bottom and put them on the side.

My First Impression of my new WII U

Actually my WII U is not new it is used. I picked up a super good deal on ebay and my purchase arrived today in the mail. I got right into it and set it all up. It took all day to fuck around with it and figure out what I needed to do to have it going the way I want it to.

The main thing that I kept drawing my focus to was the game pad. I was astonished by this thing. The screen has super good quality and the size of the screen is primo. There was a lot of attention to detail put into the construction of this thing. One detail that seems off and definitely not right is the controls with the right hand. The four buttons under the joystick are placed kinda fucked up. I have to use my wrist more than I would like to switch between the trigger, the button on top and the joystick. It doesn't smoothly work all together with keeping my hand in the same position. I have to use my thumb flat and press some of the buttons close to my joint in my thumb. This is not like I'm use to with using the tip of my thumb. I have no clue how Nintendo could fix this since players have different size hands. Either way any size hand will have to deal with this to some extent. Another thing that is fucked is the edges around the pad stick out and are kinda sharp and not flush. This irritates my hand as I'm trying to deal with this fucked up button setup. This lowers the quality of the product big time. How could they let that pass by inspection when designing it? I rigged it up with some tape to help and it does. Fuck buying a cover.

Now for the good things. Options are what I want and there are options with the game pad and tv adjustments. I'm not going to go over every damn thing it does. I will bring up switching between the game pad or tv if you want to. This is cool shit because I have a shitty tv and it is nice to play some on the pad to enjoy the 1080 view. I also like the fact that it has a headphone jack and a physical volume slider on the top of the game pad. Wait I have to switch back to bad things, the touch screen is not a sensitive as I think it should be. I've got to push down a little to hard to get shit to move around.

Basically my first impression is this is a good effort on Nintendo's part and I like this gamepad action. It didn't take long before I could point out things that were not solid quality like the button placement and the edges on the game pad most notably. Of course Nintendo will put out a new improved game pad at some point because I could not imagine that they are going to keep this design for the full life span of the WII U. As Is I would say that the setup is worth 250 dollars.

As far as the game play mixing up by showing extras on the game pad different from the game on the screen has potential. Unfortunately I get the feeling that Nintendo might not use this as much as they originally planed to use it. Either way I don't give a fuck as long as they don't throw some garbage bullshit in to show that they did what they said they would. When it says look at the screen or look at the game pad. My neck motion going back and forth and think about how I have to move to do this is going to get real fucking old real quick. The move the game pad or TV should only be for super good content and nothing else.

I would much rather have this game pad idea than waving a wii remote around like a fool. I would also rather have this game pad play than a regular controller like Xbox one or PS4. Yes, It is innovative and I think that any better tech that the other companies have over Nintendo doesn't make that much of a difference and all those third party games that will probably end up being 50 dollars will be excellent on WII U. Big beef with people is online gaming and they will go where the population is and that is Xbox one of course. Well, fuck em' they can go play there meat head shooters. As for the tech part of it, if that was a big concern of mine I would get the third party games for my pc which I will do anyway. 

Dear Nintendo and who ever the hell cares

I analyzed sales figures at wikia which can be viewed here Gamecube sales. What I noticed is Wii U is similar to Gameube sales. Nintendo obviously were lucky as a mother fuck to do as well as they did with Wii sales. Wii sales peaked and dropped down. Nintendo really hit the ball out of the park with creating Wii sports. That game is what created the buzz. People liked the idea and they wanted to play the shit. Now families were super interested and the demographics had expanded. Nintendo wasn't hustling only nerds sitting alone in their rooms, now they were the cream of the crop selling to everyone that could swing a plastic tube.  I was one of the many that wasn't impressed and I was the nerd sitting alone in his room. This gimmick attempt paid off for Nintendo, however it did scar me and gave me new insight on Nintendo and what whoring yourself out can do. It was a legit whoring and they are business people. I am a video game hungry asshole that needs his games. Nintendo came through and put out a few classics for the Wii, still the whole system idea is something I would rather forget. Now the Wii U game pad is now another question.

Now that Nintendo's cash crop has dried up and their new attempt isn't bringing in nearly the same amount, Nintendo falls back down to where they were over a decade ago. I think Nintendo had a big ego after the Wii success and thought they had a recipe for domination. The 3DS was balls out and totally the wrong fucking move. The Wii U had to happen. They were not ready and it did not matter because time was up and they had to release something. The Wii U was the best they could do because they couldn't make another Wii with a swing around remote because people were tired of the gimmicky bullshit idea. They also couldn't go too far out and come up with something too risky because of the 3DS sting, so they went in between with something they felt more safe with. Besides what could they have come up with? I think they followed the money trend of tablets and that is already taken over by other companies. What Nintendo came up with is cool in my mind however it is kinda gimmicky and people are keen to that by now.  The Wii was far out and took balls for Nintendo to release. Of course it did far beyond good in sales. Wii U is not balls out, it was a safe play and more ordinary, so the return will match their risk.

Another point is adults like violent games and sports games so they go to Sony and Microsoft for that. So, people would be buying a Nintendo for their kids however why would they buy a nice tablet that could be broken easily for their kids? The investment of more than 400 dollars once games are bought with the system is not one that average income people are willing to take a risk on.  I think the game pad itself is the reason Nintendo has not sold more units to families. Also why would families buy something that the kids would fight over, since there is only one game pad? They sure as fuck wouldn't buy four of those game pads so all the kids have one. That is way too much money to spend for a damn Nintendo toy. Basically the Wii U is too nice and too expensive to buy for their destructive children. Oh yeah and you can't leave out the Ten dollar raise on games. This all adds up in parents heads. This all will be thought of. This is not a five dollar toy to shut the kids up on a trip. This is hundreds of dollars matched up with the hundreds of dollars you also have already spent on each of the kids like touch screen computers and android phones. Or simply Nintendo is for pussies among the new generation and most kids will only ask the parents for the Xbox One. The herd usually only goes in one direction. Pretty much it is all up to Mom and Dad.

Mom and Dad liked the Wii so they could spend fun time with the whole family. Wii U doesn't live up to that in the least bit. It sends the kids back off into their rooms to play by themselves and grow more distant from the family. Nintendo wanted to go back to their core gamer's and I have no fucking clue why they did that. Something that the entire family can enjoy with each other at the same time is the selling point for mega bucks. This is where Xbox and Sony are investing and they are also investing to the single loner. Both will bring in the money. Takes us back to one person sitting there with the tablet and the rest of the family holding old Wii remotes. The setup is off putting because who gets to hold the tablet and why is that tablet even there in the first place? It simply confuses the crowd. Swinging the Wii remote around like idiots was so much easier and less complicated for the uncoordinated casual player i.e. Mom, Dad, and aunt Judy.

I read an article lately were a fella was saying that Nintendo could do a lot better if they ditched the game pad. I think he might be right and that would be wild shit if they do. Nintendo would have to update their systems to run controllers with out the pad being mandatory to start up the system. That and the pad being able to be completely off while using a classic controller or wii controller. Then Nintendo's move would be selling the console with a wii remote and a classic controller for less than it is being sold now. Maybe in the 200 dollar area. I strongly predict that they will do something like this sometime within two holiday seasons. Of course the game pad bundle will still be on the market and optional to use with games. Nintendo will have to be clever and not make it look like they are going backwards. I did read that Nintendo is asking all third party developers to make the games to be able to play without the game pad and optional to play with classic controllers or Wii controller (this could be a rumor).

Nintendo could also set it up where you could buy the Wii U console alone for 150 and set up a way to use the 3DS as a game pad or controller. That would be awesome and give people more incentive to go out and buy a 3DS. You could have a Wii U and a  3DS close to the same price as a Wii U cost today. Yes I might be brilliant, Nintendo you sons of bitches I know you have thought about this. Do it, I like the idea.  They might have to make a new improved 3DS still I think it would be good shit and I would be down for that because then I could play some 3DS games as well.

One thing that Nintendo could do that other companies don't have right now is the ability to have shooter games that nobody can watch other players screens to see where they are at. Now three friends could bring there game pads over to one persons house and have a lan party style setup without having to bring over the system. This would have been awesome for Goldeneye back in the day. I would like to think there are people out there that still have physical friends that like to get together and party it up a bit including video games in the mix. If anything would kill this idea it would be the mass majority of people play online and don't give a shit about getting together for some game time. Passing a Wii remote around at a party limits the involvement when 1 player games are on. Tell me that playing Goldeneye with all your friends back in the day wasn't worth buying all those controllers. To me it was worth it and I had all four controllers set up for some serious battles. That was over a hundred dollars to get those controllers.

 No other console has the game pad with the screen. Nintendo could do some damage with this because people love those damn shooters and spend billions for them. Make the shooters friend gathering and fucking fun as shit and bang Nintendo is on top of the market again. One thing for sure people wouldn't have to deal with lag or play in rooms that have twenty people in them. If they do want that they could mix the lan play with online play if one of the buddies can't make it over that night because they are grounded. This is the only way I could imagine people investing in extra game pads. The hardcore gamer's will spend their entire paycheck on gaming shit. I do think people look for a good reason to get together with friends. Even though the majority of people play online, Nintendo could set the standard for playing with friends in one room again. The internet has given us major abilities and it has also turned us into faceless people. Human interaction is shit, with games it is high times. When you shoot someone down you don't see their reaction online. All you get is some twelve year old cussing. This way you can see your friends face turn red and have some drinks while laughing about it.

Nintendo survived during different sales figures over the decades and they have been able to put out classic games that are more memorable to me than any other company. The future isn't clear for Nintendo, the past is and if you take a look at the shit they have survived through you can get an idea of what Nintendo can handle in the future. Only difference is money is power and Nintendo doesn't match the power that Sony and Microsoft have. If those companies wanted to crush Nintendo and that was their purpose they have the money to do it. Nintendo one day might be making games for Sony and Microsoft. I cringe at the horrible truth that might be. They might be working on some big hits to come out, unfortunately I don't think any of the titles they will come out with will boost sales up as high as the Wii had. I for see sales parallel with Gamecube through out it's more than likely five year life span. Even if Sony and Microsoft keep their systems going for 7-8 years, Nintendo might have to come out with another console if Wii U doesn't do any better than what Gamecube did. Likely that focus would be on a new handheld first since the 3DS lifespan will be up here in a few years.

Come on Nintendo it's time to shine, unleash the genius.

Wii U don't

I purchased a Wii U yesterday and it will be coming in the mail sometime. Question is did I fuck myself? Is Nintendo going to have at least two epic games within Wii U's life span. I look back on the Nintendo consoles all the way back to SNES and realize that each only averaged about five games that are damn good. Even with Xbox consoles and the Sony consoles I have owned over the years really don't have many memorable games. I have a high standard and don't fuck around when it comes to gaming. Like Warren Buffet understanding value, the same goes for video games here.

I played "not so" New Super Mario bros. Wii U game at Best Buy when it first came out and was looking right at the boxes that where available on the floor which was one due to Best Buy trying to deceive shoppers into thinking that was the last one left. I only played the game for a minute and didn't feel right about it. The whole thing seemed like a real big fucking over. I felt like I was looking at a glorified original Wii that now had a tablet. I didn't mind the tablet. I felt like the next generation wasn't really much different and now if you wanted to jump on the bus with Nintendo you had to pay 300 bucks and an extra ten dollars for HD games. I decided to wait at least a year before I considered buying a Wii U. Well I lasted a year and said fuck it and went ahead and took the plunge and bid on a Wii U console. I don't think that console prices will drop anymore than 50 dollars for at least 3-4 years. If I'm wrong and the price drops more than 50 dollars within the next two years I'll be a cunt. Figuratively speaking of course.

The fact that you can't buy more tablets at the store right now seems a little odd. There are a lot of things that seem odd about Nintendo's choices with this console. If Nintendo fails to sell enough consoles will they not have the motivation to put out epic games for this system. Why should they if they won't see any return and possibly a loss. They could know in advance how well game sales could be if they know how many people own the console. If that is not the case then Nintendo would be confident that people will buy the console to play the hit game, which does happen of course. Will people give a shit anymore about remakes like Zelda and Metroid or will they turn their business else where to Sony or Microsoft's direction? Skyward Sword has sold 3.6 million as of September 2013. Grand Theft Auto Five sold 1.5 million copies in the first 24 hours in the UK alone. Goes to show you how Nintendo Is getting crushed in sales figures. The grand scale of games takes shit loads of money and industry power. Nintendo will have to figure out a way to survive against this and they will have to be smart as fuck. Fucking customers over isn't a good strategy. Die hard old school Nintendo fans will fade away and those left won't be enough to keep the juice.

I also read an article which Nintendo stated that they are going to put out more 1st party games without the help of other companies for development. This could bring even less games to the table. Nintendo and myself are confident that they will sell more systems once the big hits come out. Of course I want that to happen so Nintendo can continue to entertain me. If it doesn't this could be a major turning point for Nintendo. I read Nintendo built a new Nintendo studio that cost them 300 million. The last thing I want is Nintendo going backwards. Competing with Sony and Microsoft is foolish because those are mega companies that have way more money. Nintendo tried to make something different and I'm not sure if it is that much different from what is already out there and the cool features that the system has I think will go right passed people. The features are not mind blowing and people have not created a buzz and so there is no hype like there was with Wii sports.

brief intermission

Nintendo must know that most of the people that play their systems are toy destroying kids. What the hell are they doing making a tablet for children. Obviously most of these tablets will be destroyed and I don't think parents will be compelled to buy a replacement, especially when they find out there is none at the store and costs over a hundred dollars to buy from Nintendo directly. They will have the opinion that Nintendo puts out shit and put the console in the corner of the room in a pile with the rest of the kids toys. This makes me believe that Nintendo will put out a different game pad soon that will cost them less to make and will be more durable. Of course it will have a new feature like better resolution or bigger/smaller screen. It is total bullshit that you can't play the Wii U with the wii controllers. The game pad has to be on the entire time the Wii U is on. Absolute Total bullshit.

If Nintendo does fail with this console they might as well do something cool as fuck like make a cartridge system again with traditional game pad. That would be so fucking awesome if they did that. No more shitty loading and no more listening to the machine turn the disc for information every five seconds. They could make super cool cartridges now that solid state drives are out there. Of course this will happen when my dick grows two feet. The digital download will rule the future. Fuck there is something for Nintendo to really have people by the balls. They could have a new console that has no disk compartment and only downloads games from the internet. One day I imagine that will be the case. Maybe a system or two away if Nintendo can survive that long. It does seem like if Nintendo was to leave the home console biz for a while to focus on handheld, the hand held could hook up to the television with some kind of cord or streaming box.

 Fuck whatever it takes to keep Nintendo alive. I don't think I could live without Nintendo. It has been life support for me. I think Nintendo is smart enough to figure out how to stay alive in the market. I would think they don't have to have billions of dollars to keep making fun games. It will be a sad day if they ever have to join forces with a bigger company. If that day comes you can kiss the quality control good bye. If Nintendo dies out many years from now, I would assume they will join the likes of Sega in exclusively making games. When the next generation takes over Nintendo, will they have the same imagination and passion for the company as the company heads have had and continue to have?

Nothing is announced for next year so that is not good at all. We might get one game that is awesome around 2014 Christmas season. If you know anything about anything you know that if Nintendo has a huge title coming out it is announced at least a year in advance. I will let you know what I think of the Wii U once I receive it and have some intimate time alone.